Issue

Parents were working on their estate plan and wanted to involve their adult children, but the siblings didn’t get along well. The parents felt some trepidation over the conversation. Where to start? What to do about the sibling rivalry? How should they treat their kids fairly when one of them was in much greater need than the others? How could they get the best from their kids when working through the property details?

The solution cultivated by AFBC

First AFBC helped the parents clarify what they wanted for their children and for themselves.

The parents realized that what they wanted most was for the sibs to care for each other and to hold together as a healthy family after the parents’ demise. The parents also wanted the children to help them to maintain their independence as long as possible in their old age.

Individual coaching helped each family member to clarify what they wanted and how to express it.

A facilitated family meeting created safe space for each person to be heard. Just being heard calmed much of the agitation between the sibs.

AFBC worked to help create an awareness of the family system and how it could be used as a resource.

Results

The result was a new level of understanding and appreciation among/between parents and sibs. Not surprisingly, they all wanted the same thing, but each had a unique way of expressing it and different desired outcomes to feel their needs had been met.

The family designed an intentional partnership. Each family member took on an area of research, communication, and follow-up. They created a plan for their future including agreed upon ways to make changes to the plan.